The Philippines: Where everyone can fit in

Last updated on March 3rd, 2021 at 08:30 pm

So, my in-laws called this morning.

It’s part of our regular routine to call each other and check on what’s going on with our lives for the week (and them to check on Vince for the most part).

They mentioned they’re going out on a trip. I got giddy for them and as a normal reminder, ask them to take AS MANY PICTURES AS THEY CAN to bring home. Dad (my father in law) being his usual mischief says something that goes like “I better put something on my shirt that says I’m related to someone who is Filipino”.

With that, I reminded him how he jokes about it (taking pictures) and I quote, “Taking Pictures: The Filipino National Past Time.”

(Now at one point I’d like to disagree because I do believe that Videoke is actually (and still) our national past time!)

But both of them expressed their sentiments on how fun it was for them to watch us (during their vacation back in 2013 for our wedding) with everyone smiling, no cares or worries, and just happily shooting photos. No intros, no explanations, just someone raising the phone or camera, and everyone will look in that direction and flash our smiles!

And I remember saying something like “well, of course, we need to make sure everyone fits in too”, I was pertaining to the physical photo.

Ma (my mother-in-law) said that’s another one that can be sold as a good saying. “Everyone fits in.”

And it just hit me.

I try to listen and absorb everything I could when my folks talk about how much they love our culture. It is nowhere near what they have known and took a while to believe it actually exists, and I am honored to hear it from someone who actually knows the difference because to me it’s just as normal to welcome everyone, given that’s how we were raised.

Sometimes the challenge lies where I put my finger to limit the warm gesture, as through experience someone gives the impression of not liking it, of being awkward because it feels over or “not normal”. Maybe back home it can be dubbed as “feeling close” or “trying hard”. And then again one would think that we might expect something in return when we do such things.

But what if we really just want to do it? We just want to take photos, selfies or groufies for fun and that we want to keep something memorable. What if we really just want to cook a batch of food and send to our neighbors? Or offer to watch their kids so the couple can have a little date night? What if we just wanted to do good things to others because we just want to?

It’s so easy to feel the invisible boundaries here in the U.S. and just as easy to just go with the flow. It’s also easy to keep the vibes to ourselves, and our fellow nationals because “they will not get it anyway”.

I feel bad forgetting that we have that gift of warmth, and I try to sweep it under the floor for fear of being stereotyped or judged.

So it’s nice to get reminded of the truth behind our natural gestures, and any form of goodness should not be hidden.

Our hospitality, our values, sense of family and friendships. It’s something that we as a culture have. Nothing that can be taught as a special skill, nor can be paid to learn in any school.

It is within us.

Point is, I think the Filipino spirit and smile are solid enough not to get dampened by plain negativity.

If we share our “warmth”, it can affect someone immensely that without them knowing, someone might smile more, and feel that they are just fine in this crazy world we live in.